Pokémon Black and White introduced players into a fifth generation of Pokémon, bringing the whole number of pocket creatures to just beneath a billion. With so many Pokémon available, how is a trainer supposed to learn which ones are the greatest? Simple: I am about to let you know which ones are the best. So grab a pen and some paper you’re likely to need to take notes.
I am clearly a Pokémon expert, as evident by my magnificent analysis of some of the newest Pokémon in the first Black and White. However, since I’ve yet to play Version 2, I requested my fellow editor Kyle to give me his picks of the best Generation V Pokémon, so I might give my professional appraisal of them for the edification. But it didn’t take me long to realize his selections are all horrible, therefore after analyzing his pathetic lineup, I’m also supplying what are clearly the actual best Gen V Pokémon.
Kyle’s Horrendous Picks:
Kyle told me Tepig was his rookie Pokémon, so I’m guessing he thinks Pignite is awesome because of his own silly, sentimental attachment. There are just two issues with this. First, Oshawott is clearly the best starting Pokémon from B&W (though Tepig is still superior than the snooty jerkbag Snivy). Second, why would he select Pignite and not Emboar? He probably wasn’t great enough to evolve his own Pignite to its final shape. Regardless, Pignite is still fairly great.
Official Pokémon Rating (as decided by me): 5
I already made fun of Watchog within my preceding analysis — specifically, I questioned just how good of a lookout Watchog could be if he got captured by a coach at the first place.Read about pokemon black download At website Especially Kyle! Watchog does seem unbelievably pissed off, though, so he can probably intimidate weenie Pokémon like Deerling.
Official Pokémon Rating: 4.5
I’m seriously starting to question Kyle’s Pokémon-choosing skills. Herdier isn’t a Pokémon. He’s a Scottish woman. Guess what happens in case you try and earn a couple of Scottish Terriers combat each other? You go to jail for dog fighting, that’s what. I’m calling the ASPCA, Kyle!
Official Pokémon Rating: N/A
Official Dog Rating: two
Tirtouga ends up being better than most of Kyle’s choices, but I must wonder: Why do we need another turtle Pokémon when we’ve already obtained Squirtle? I get this Tirtouga really is a Water/Rock hybrid Pokémon, but it still looks like he’s horning in on Squirtle’s game, also Squirtle is up O.G. — that I certainly wouldn’t mess together.
Official Pokémon Rating: 6 (Squirtle’s Official Pokémon Rating: 10)
Kyle clearly didn’t read my previous Pokémon analysis, since Musharna is another disturbing choice that I took to work. Here is what I wrote previously:
“My God, that Pokémon is still a fetus! What kind of sicko will make a fetus struggle?”
Clearly we finally have the answer: Kyle is that type of sicko.
Official Pokémon Rating: 0
Coming Up : More poor collections by Kyle…
What’s with Kyle’s obsession with Pokémon that haven’t even had a opportunity to completely kind yet? Solosis remains embryonic, for crying out loud. I think it’s clear what’s going on here: Kyle is not very great at Pokémon, so that he chooses the smallest monsters he could find in order to really have an excuse when he loses. In that sense, Solosis is a wonderful choice.
Yamask? Much like Yakiddingme? This Pokémon’s entire persona is built around its mask, which it only holds with its own tail. What do Yamasks actually do with their masks? As stated by the Pokédex,”Sometimes they look at it and shout.” That doesn’t sound helpful at all! Yamasks are even worse than their evolved type, Cofagrigus, which most of us know is just a sarcophagus with massive arms and legs.
Official Pokémon Rating: Dumb
I’ve absolutely no trouble with this pick.
Official Pokémon Rating: 10
Apparently, Deino thinks he is a member of The Beatles. I never thought I’d sort this sentence, yet this dragon should get a haircut. But a mop-top monster remains technically a dragon, so he has that going for him. Also, Deino is a Dark/Dragon hybridvehicle, which is much better compared to a Rainbow/Dragon hybridvehicle, or Candycorn/Dragon hybridvehicle, or anything other stupid Pokémon types you can find. However, Deino can ultimately evolve into Hydreigon, at which time his front legs become two heads. That’s way cooler than Deino, Kyle.
Official Pokémon Rating: Less Cool Than Hydreigon
Hey, what can you understand? Kyle finally picked a cool Pokémon! Granteda blindfolded monkey could’ve picked better Pokémon compared to my fellow editor did, but this selection (almost) makes up for it. Beartic is categorized as a Freezing Pokémon, who’s actually made from ice, and his level one ability is called Superpower. That’s right, Beartic begins with Superpower.
More than anything else, I am just impressed that Kyle did not select Beartic’s unevolved form, Cubchoo (that the snot-dripping teddy on the right).
Official Pokémon Rating: 9
Now that we have suffered through Kyle’s horrendous picks, let us look at what are really the ideal Pokémon of Black and White Version 2, as picked by an expert…
The Actual Greatest Pokémon:
I wasn’t kidding when I mentioned Oshawott was the obvious choice for a starting Pokémon, and Samurott is the main reason . He’s got a badass hot shell on his head, the mustache and beard of a wizened master, and since his title suggests, he’s part samurai. Oshawott’s goofy seashell (which kind of looks like a wang to me) even evolves into amazing Shell Armor, and judging by Samurott’s pecs, that Pokémon is still ripped. Want further proof? Samurott’s species has been listed as Formidable Pokémon.
Official Pokémon Rating: 10
Simisage is a Thorn Monkey species of Pokémon, and judging from his film, he definitely knows how to rock. He’s got an Elvis-like coif, a barbed tail that he strikes his opponents with, and large, funny monkey ears. He also has an ability called gluttony — just like Kevin Spacey in Seven. Simisage is really cool that he’s giving himself that the thumbs-up, that is well deserved.
I am pretty sure Gurdurr is the strongest Pokémon in all of Pokéworld. Additionally, it’s holding a slip beam over its head! Look at all its bulging muscles — Gurdurr is so strong it’s kind of gross. In case you need more proof, the Pokédex clarifies Gurdurr as follows:
“This Pokémon is so muscle and firmly built that even a group of wrestlers could not make it budge an inch”
Let us watch your Musharna stand around this, Kyle.
I didn’t even know Pokémon wear clothing, however Throh is wearing a gi, and he is a black belt to boot. Much like Gurdurr, Throh is additionally a straight-up Fighting-type Pokémon, and his species is still Judo Pokémon. Throhs are so strong they don’t even evolve — that is right, not even evolution can improve them.
Official Pokémon Rating: Better Than Evolution
Like I said, I have absolutely no problem with this pick. Minccino is adorable!
Coming Up : Five Amazing Pokémon…
Here is another heavy hitter that Kyle fully passed up. Darmanitan is categorized as a Blazing Pokémon, which explains why its own eyebrows are on fire. As if a fire ape isn’t frightening enough, here’s Darmanitan’s Pokédex description:
“Its internal fire burns 2,500º F, which makes enough power it may ruin a dump truck with a single punch.”
2,500º F will be the melting point of steel. Steel. Not even the Terminator could resist molten steel! Now that’s a Pokémon!
Official Pokémon Rating: Stronger Than Arnold Schwarzenegger
If you ever ran into a Galvantula, then you might just dismiss it like a semi-creepy pest infestation. It would be the last mistake you ever make; when you turned around, it would shoot electric webs from its fangs to jolt you into submission. Then it would eat you. Do not believe me that Nintendo would approve such a sinister Pokémon? To the Pokédex entry:
“They use an electrically charged internet to snare their prey. While it is immobilized by shock, they leisurely consume it”
Notice, Galvantula doesn’t just absorb its electrified foes — it leisurely absorbs them, like it’s no big thing. Even a Xenomorph would shudder and run away from these things.
Official Pokémon Rating: 10
Let’s be fair: Golurk is basically The Iron Giant, from that one movie whose title I can not recall. It may not be that original, but that does not make Golurk any less badass. Golurk is categorized as a Automaton Pokémon — for those who don’t understand,”Automaton” is Latin for”Giant robot that kills everything in its course.” Its Pokédex entry makes it seem cooler:
“It strikes across the sky at Mach speeds. Removing the seal on its chest makes its inner energy go out of hands ”
Which of Kyle’s Pokémon wants to go up from this?
This robot insect may not seem as scary as some of the other Pokémon with this record, but he’s got quite the backstory. Genesect is a Paleozoic Pokémon that was originally alive 300 million years ago, when it was”feared as the most powerful of hunters,” according to the Pokédex. Subsequently it had been resurrected by Team Plasma, making it even more powerful by including a cannon to its rear. Quick side note: Should you ever opt to utilize science to resurrect an ancient being feared for its unparalleled searching skills, don’t give this kind of cannon.
Predictably, Genesect broke from the lab and hasn’t been seen again. To make matters worse, its cannon could be outfitted with four different drives, endowing it with the powers of four elemental types of ordinary Pokémon.
No one knows the story behind Genesect’s name; fans believe it means”genesis bug” or”genetic bug.” I have my own concept: In Japanese, this frightful creature is actually called Genosect — I am guessing the real significance of its title is”genocide bug.”
There is not much to mention, besides that Thundurus ai not screwing around. Thundurus is a mythical Pokémon, and can be classified as a Bolt Strike Pokémon. All his abilities sound fantastic: Uproar, Astonish, Thundershock, Nasty Plot. . .Okay, I don’t understand about that last one, however, others are quite cool.